The Appalachian rules I previously posted (link) keep you from getting lost in the forest or answering something that is not there. These mountain graveyard rules keep you from bringing something home that you don't want to follow you.
Old burying grounds in the Appalachian mountains are usually small, often on a hill, sometimes half-sunk into the woods. Family plots. Church yards that closed when the congregation moved or died out. Stones lean. Names wear off. Trees and weeds spring up. People still treat them carefully.
The ones I heard growing up:
1) Do not step on a grave. Walk between them. Stepping on one is bad luck at best. At worst it wakes whatever is still attached to the place. People who grew up mowing church yards still step around the sunken places.
2) Do not whistle. Same rule as the woods, only tighter. Sound carries farther when the trees are thinner and the ground is open. Something may answer, and in a graveyard that something already has a reason to be interested.
3) Do not point. At a stone, at a name, at anything that moves at the edge of the your vision. Pointing draws attention. Some say the finger that pointed would go stiff or start to hurt. Most just say it was rude and unwise.
4) Do not take anything. Not the flowers, the stone, the dirt, or anything else. Leave what is left by others. People who took a souvenir sometimes say the bad luck followed them home. A few say the haint did too.
5) Talk little, and only quietly. No laughing, no calling out. Make your words polite and soft. The dead are listening, and perhaps something else that sits with them is too. Finish your business and leave.
6) Be respectful. Read the names if you want. Pay your respects. Straighten a fallen flag or flower display. Do not lean on the stones. Do not sit on them. Do not treat the place like a park. The people buried there are still somebody’s people.
7) No, you didn't see that. If you see something that does not belong, you did not see it. Same rule as the woods. Keep walking. Do not look twice. Do not tell anyone until you are well away from the graveyard.
The Haints
What people actually did when someone died: they covered the mirrors so the dead could not see themselves and stay. They stopped the clocks. They opened a window so the soul could leave. They sat up with the body all night so it would not be alone. They carried the coffin out feet-first so it could not look back and call someone else. Some painted their porch ceilings a pale blue, called haint blue, to keep spirits from settling at the house. Others left a light burning or salt on the sill.
None of it is dramatic, or performance for the sake of performance. It is just what you did so the dead stay where they belong and the living keep their own house.
The dead rest here. Give them respect in their home.
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